The Real Reason You’re Not Motivated — And How to Build Momentum Instead

You’d think that, as a physical therapist, I’d find it easy to stay motivated to exercise. But I’m still human—and I struggle with it, just like everyone else.

Most of us feel some kind of pressure to change how our bodies look or hit health targets—weight, cholesterol, A1C, whatever. In the physical therapy world, we love to preach “exercise is medicine,” but then we get frustrated when people don’t follow through (I had my moments of frustration, too, as a young clinician).

We often believe we should be able to “just do it” because society, doctors, or family say so. But that’s not how our brains work. That’s not how motivation works. And the more we get “should-ed on,” the more shame festers—leaving us even more stuck and alone.

So let’s flip the script. It’s perfectly human to struggle with motivation. In fact, it’s more human to struggle than not. Anyone who tells you differently? They’re probably hiding their own shame about it.

The good news? Motivation is a science—and it’s not as complicated as we’ve been led to believe.

Your Vision, Your Values

If I asked you right off the bat to paint a picture of “healthy”, I can almost guarantee that it would include some version of “Ken and Barbie on the Beach” with small waists, big muscles, and not an ounce of fat. Even if you’ve worked past that cultural programming (good on you!), you still know what I’m talking about. Or maybe your picture includes a certain number on the scale or lowering certain health metrics (cholesterol, A1C, blood pressure). None of these versions of health are inherently “bad”. The question is, 

Are they meaningful? 

Play the tape through. What if you actually hit that goal? How would you feel? What would come next? Sure, a beach body sounds appealing. But most people find that hitting a certain number—or even getting the six-pack—isn’t as satisfying as they thought it would be.

The most important aspect of motivation is that your goals are rooted in your values. In psychological terms, this is called intrinsic motivation (as opposed to extrinsic motivation like the Barbie/Ken beach body). 

Let’s unpack this.

When you think of health or movement, what is that you actually want to do? Is it to run around with your kids? To confidently go up a flight of stairs? To easily carry your groceries inside from your car? To walk around the park without pain? To reduce or get off of a medication? I’m talking about the parts of life that, if they were different, would actually make an impact in your day to day. 

What would you like to be easier? What can’t you do right now that you wish you could? What change would truly improve your everyday life?

The answer to these questions shows you what you value, what is meaningful, and what is actually going to motivate you when the going gets tough. 

And here’s the best part: when you “play the tape through” with these kinds of goals, you’ll often find they generate more goals—not out of pressure, but from joy. If you can run with your kids, maybe next you’ll play soccer. If you can climb stairs, now you’re hiking up the hill to your mailbox.

When you feel good, even if it is just anticipating feeling good, motivation is much, much easier to come by.

Set Yourself Up for Success

Once you’ve found your why—your meaningful, values-based goals—it’s time to figure out your what: the kind of movement that will get you there.

The only real rule? It should make you feel good. Too often, we treat exercise like a chore, something we have to suffer through. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Movement should feel joyful. It should make you feel powerful, capable—even a little surprised. The kind of surprised that makes you say, “Wow, I didn’t know I could do that!”

Not sure what kind of movement lights you up? Think back to what you loved as a kid. If you were always dancing, try Zumba or a dance game like Just Dance. If you loved exploring the woods or climbing trees, maybe it’s time to try hiking or rock climbing.

And remember—you’re allowed to accommodate yourself. Nervous about working out in public? No problem. There are endless at-home workouts online. Worried about going too far on a run? Take a short loop and repeat it. Your concerns are valid. And your comfort matters. You get to move in a way that works for you.

Start with “Training Wheels”

I’ve definitely been guilty of going from the couch straight into (attempting) a two-mile run. It sounds productive in theory, but in reality, zero to sixty rarely works. Give yourself training wheels so you can feel successful early. If you don’t, it’s nearly impossible to stick with it.

Ideas of “Training Wheels”:

• Start with just 10 minutes
  You can do anything for 10 minutes. If you’re not enjoying it after that, you can stop—no guilt.

• Pair it with something fun
  Want to listen to that new true crime podcast episode? Do it while walking around the block or stretching.

• Remove friction
  Lay out your workout clothes the night before. Put your yoga mat in front of the TV. Make starting as easy as possible.

• Phone a friend
  Invite someone to join you—or just ask them to check in with you. Accountability doesn’t have to be intense to be effective.

• Check it off
  Give yourself a gold star. Use a habit tracker app. Your brain loves the dopamine hit of checking a box.

• Track your progress
  Write down how far you went, how long you moved, or how you felt. Progress can be subtle—tracking helps you see it.

Final Thoughts

The point of all these “training wheels” is to help you build momentum. Once momentum kicks in—once movement becomes part of your routine—you don’t need as much motivation.

Momentum, not motivation, is the real goal. And once you have it, everything gets easier.

Motivation isn’t about willpower or discipline—it’s about meaning, joy, and momentum. You are not broken for finding it hard to get started. You’re human.

When your movement is rooted in your values, when it brings you joy, and when you give yourself the grace to start small—you’re no longer relying on fleeting motivation. You’re building a foundation. And that foundation is what keeps you going when life gets busy, hard, or messy (which it always will).

If you're feeling stuck or unsure where to begin, you're not alone. I offer a free coaching session to help you uncover your values, clarify your goals, and find your version of joyful movement—no pressure, just support.

👉 Click here to book your free session and take one small, kind step toward momentum. You don’t have to “just do it.” You just have to start.